Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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