When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
