Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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