on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
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Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
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Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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