hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
