Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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