He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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