so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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