my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize