it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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