It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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