Well apparently he's into motor boating.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
