i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
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ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
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Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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