sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
