Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize