I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
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I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
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Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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