I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
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We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
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My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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