My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
