I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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