Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Bring me that man meat
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
