I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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