I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
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