That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
