Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Found the puke drawer
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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