So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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