pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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