I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
