I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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