she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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