So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
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i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
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I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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