Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I will be naked everywhere
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
