...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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