Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
