I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
