I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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