Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Randomize