yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize