Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.