lets start a swedish sibling band together
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry