the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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