I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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