So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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