My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
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It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
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That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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