hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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