The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
