your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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