That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize