I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
