Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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