i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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