his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shattered a urinal.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He better not be in your backpack
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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